Fat Chow – Palm Jumeirah

Fat Chow is a newly-opened, licensed restaurant at the Pointe (west) which claims to specialise in Cantonese cuisine. It doesn’t. It is, however, beautifully decorated both upstairs and down but in a style which curiously, I felt was more punk Japanese than Chinese to me. Like all the licensed eateries at the Pointe, alcoholic beverages are only served upstairs. A give-away to Fat Chow’s ownership, it is one of the very few Chinese restaurants I have come across which also serves shisha. While the good weather lasts its two-tiered terraces offers the opportunity to dine under the stars in full view of Atlantis.

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Fat Chow’s menu offers much promise but little else. I cannot remember that last time I was so disappointed with a Chinese restaurant.

Its Dynamite Prawns does not come remotely close to PF Chang’s and portion size for the price is disproportionately small. We ordered half a Peking Duck as our second starter. Of course, it arrived with our mains and would have been a hit if the pancakes weren’t raw and rubbery; the duck (and crispy skin) though was perfectly cooked.

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The Beef Oyster (stir-fried beef strips in oyster sauce) was tepid in temperature and tasted of blandness stir-fried with cornflour. Adding insult to injury, the wrong-grain steamed rice which it was served with had far more flavour than the Vegetable Fried Rice I regretted ordering. But it was the Soft Noodles Chicken which took top prize for inedibility (that’s the polite way of saying it was ugh!). I would dismiss my chef and burn my kitchen down if something like this passed through its door. I think it was perhaps the worst dish I have had in all my years as a reviewer.

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The fact that I got sympathy from one of our two Burmese waitresses and then again from their Filipina hostess, Teresa shows the effort I went to in highlighting the nightmare of a meal we had. Instead of the sad eyes and pouted lips these lovely ladies offered as compensation, I would have preferred them to knock the more offensive items such as the noodles and fried rice off the bill. We ended up paying a whooping AED800 (with tip) for a meal I would like to forget as quickly as possible. The only reason I will not give this restaurant a 1 out of 5 on Zomato and Trip Advisor is because of the effort the staff put in to looking after us. So, if you are at the Pointe and looking to have a good Asian meal, I recommend you try Asian District or the amazing Chuan a few doors down.

Hey! Now read this –
Xerxes physically dines at, or orders from, each and every venue he reviews. He pays in full for whatever he and his companions eat, drink, take away or occasionally throw at each other. Xerxes accepts no money, gifts, discounts or free meals in return for reviews or favouritism. What you have read was NOT influenced in any way by the venue. Join me on Instagram @ravenousxerxes or email me on xerxes@dellara.com.